One afternoon
I took some photos of Sandy while playing. I love this time of the day because the sun is just right and the little girl is in her best behaviour. I was able to make a layout as well. Credits here.
The layout below is about Sandy’s fascination with shoes. She loves to wear mine now.
The choices we have to make
I had an opportunity to get another telecommuting job recently. The compensation, if not as good as what I’m currently getting, is big enough that I can say goodbye to my budgeting notebook. For the last few months, things have been a bit tight for us, money-wise. We have been paying our monthly down payment for this two-bedroom condominium unit so we had to tighten our belts. It’s not that big, but it’s ours. The budgeting is also a practice for us once we move out of my mother in law’s house next year.
So you’d understand why I got excited to have another job. It would mean more out of town trips, expensive toys and clothes for Sandy, new gadgets and more savings. While I was emailing the company to schedule my second interview, I suddenly heard Sandy’s laugh. She was playing with her yaya from the other room and it seemed like she was having a great time. Then I remembered all the cool things she has been doing for the past few days. Or should I say the stories that her yaya has been telling me. I wasn’t always there when they happened. I was here in my computer, working my ass off.
That was the deciding moment. I can’t take this new job! I already have little time for Sandy as it is. Even when I’m working from home, I only get to spend time with her for a total of three hours before our nighttime routine. I put her to sleep in the afternoon for one to two hours. I don’t feed her, give her a bath, play, sing and dance with her. I work. Almost all the time. I do miss a lot. I miss her.
I told the company that I can’t commit to the work schedule and wished them well. I felt a little sad while writing the email. I have been dreaming of all the cool toys and clothes that I can buy for my little girl. But design jobs are everywhere. I have to be a parent first.
There’s nothing sadder than losing a child
I stumbled upon Diane’s post about her son Huey, who passed away last week. I think having to bury your children is the most terrible thing that can happen to a parent. It will get easier in time but the pain, I’m absolutely sure, will never go away.
As I look at my daughter sleeping soundly, I can’t help but share Diane’s pain. I can’t and I refuse to imagine that something can take Sandy away from me. Not being able to touch her little hands, smell her sweaty hair and hear her sweet voice will probably lead me to my own death.
Remember to give your children all the love that you can give. Hold them a little tighter, a little longer. Spend time with them whenever you can. Just be there for them. There’s no such thing as too many kisses.
At 18 months
Sandy can say a lot of things:
papa see?
see-saw un-downn (see saw up and down)
barney watch
mama down (mama sit down)
lola eat!
mama ichi, sin? (mama, it’s itchy, put medicine)
ay izad! (ay lizard!)
barney sleep
mama pupu
mama der wiwi (mama, there’s my wiwi — on the floor LOL)
der dow (let’s draw over there)
ets go (let’s go)
mama toys!
hi [name]
bye [name]
gunite moon
gunite mush
gunite cow
gunite bash (g’nite brush)
mama open
book read
ees cod! (it’s cold!)
There’s more but these are the ones that I remember right now.
She also calls people by name:
ninon jeypi
tito arvi
tito arvitot
ate she (yaya shel)
ate ging (househelp)
ayin (yaya arlyn)
rey (driver)
And her favorite word for the month: again?
She will say this until you do whatever it is that she wants. It could be a barney song, a quick toss in the air or a massage on her legs using MY lotion. She is so fascinated with powders, lotions and alcogel. If she’s throwing tantrums, you can pacify her by giving her her favorite empty alcogel bottle.
She also understands a lot of instructions:
throw this in the trash can (there are times that she’s the one instructing me)
get your potty, barney, toys, crayons [insert things here]
pick up your toys
go to tito’s/lola’s room
ask papa to play/eat
read your books
And she’s so eager to please us. If you ask her to do something, she will do it as if her life depend on it.
She has been counting numbers everysince she turned one. If she’s in the mood she can say 1, 2, 3, 6, 8, 9, 10 in that order and very clear. As for the missing numbers, she says poh, pay, eben (4,5,7) if you ask her. Lately, I’ve been hearing her and her yaya say leben, tweb, tetin, otin, iptin LOL.
Her ABC’s go something like this:
ABC, Deee
And if you recite the letters with her, she can finish it up to Z
Grocery Series
This is what we do every Sunday morning.
They really grow up fast. The photo below was taken when Sandy was about 9-10 months. She loves picking up items and inspecting it before putting it in the cart. Just like mommy, she wants to check the price so we don’t go beyond our budget. 
Don’t judge a laptop by its OS
Ack, it’s a geeky post.
Sherwin and I bought new laptops last week. His is a Compaq-Presario V3234 and mine’s a V3235. The specs are great, core duo/core 2 duo, 1GB memory and 120 GB HD with Windows Vista. The color is black and exterior is very sleek. What made me decide to go for it is the Windows Vista UI. At first glance, Windows Vista is just amazing. The new user interface is very cool and the graphics are mind blowing so we told Ernesto (the salesman) right then and there that we’d get the machine.
After tinkering with Sherwin’s laptop a bit, we realized that a lot of applications are not yet working with Vista. It wasn’t a big deal at the time because we bought a licensed xp pro anyway. The problem started when xp could not detect the hardisk so it can’t resume with the setup. I had to research and research to find a solution and saw that several users are in fact returning their notebooks not just because they hate vista, but installing a clean xp will require you to download several device drivers. I spent two days trying to find a way to make the hardisk work. As I write this, the only thing that’s not working are the audio (which is very important), wireless lan and bluetooth. I just don’t have the patience to search for the drivers anymore.
Lesson learned, always research about the product before you buy them. In our case, we had no idea that Windows Vista still sucks. I know it will get better soon but we’ll probably stay with XP for at least a year. Don’t get me wrong; it’s still a pretty cool machine. I just wasn’t expecting that installing XP, which I can do with my eyes closed, could drain me this much.
Life organizer
I wonder if there’s such a thing? Everything in my life is in chaos.
Our cabinet is full of old clothes and 10-year-old junk that Sherwin doesn’t want to give up. My workstation is littered with cables, power plugs, headphones, cds, flashdisks, coins and occasional crayons and books. The so-called bookshelf is filled with old/unread books, bills, envelopes, more cds, toys, waterjug, camera, lotion, and medicine. I feel fat and tired all the time that I can’t find the strength to exercise. I keep on forgetting my duties as a wife and house maker. My friends don’t know me anymore and I bet they have forgotten how I look like.
My digital life is worse. I’m supposed to start posting ads so I can earn while blogging. Turned out it wasn’t very easy. There are lots of requirements and my blog is failing all of them. And in order to earn, I will have to do some serious writing, God forbid. My portfolio is so far from done. How can I attract new clients if my web site looked like it hasn’t been updated in years. New design tasks from work came in today and I haven’t started on anything yet. Sandy will turn two in six months and her photobook is still on its first month. Her book will contain one scrapbook layout and three storyboards per month, which should total to more than 48 pages by now. And I can’t even make the audio work on Sherwin’s new laptop.
Crap. crap. crap. I need to do something about this.
new look!
The good: My blog has a new look and feel (yay!) Looks weird in firefox though.
The bad: I’m now swamped with work after spending the last four hours on my blog design.
Hey Alpha, ok na, finished my “house” na din. If only I can find the time to re-design my portfolio site.
so little time, so much stuff to do
For someone who design web sites for a living, my blog look like crap. Like mother, like daughter, I guess. I remember asking my mom when I was little why she keeps on wearing her old clothes. She has been making dresses for the past 15 yrs then but she rarely finds time to make one for her. Isn’t that a bit sad?
Okay, fine. I’ll try to design a header today.
First Official LO
Finally, I was able to finish not just one, but four LOs. My collection of freebie kits has a total of 15GB already so why not use it? I got so addicted to downloading kits that I can’t turn off my computer without visiting the freebie sites just in case I miss out on a very good one.
They’re all about my little Sophia of course, but soon I’m gonna start posting some stuff about me.
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About Joy
I am Dzoi, a 28 year old Filipina who currently works as a web designer. I am a loving wife to my equally loving husband Sherwin and a mommy cow to my 2-year-old daughter, Sandy.
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